Children exhibit
many behaviors that leave parents asking a lot of questions. This is especially
true when it comes to negative actions that seem to shatter our image of their
innocence. Despite their young age, children can sometimes do things that feel
out of character, like lying to avoid punishment.
Perhaps one of the
most concerning of these behaviors is stealing. A child might get used to
taking things this way, and over time, it can become an acquired behavior—a habit that is difficult to break and can feel
almost like an addiction.
The Psychology Behind It: Not Knowing the
Boundaries
After reviewing
numerous psychological texts and the opinions of many child psychologists, a
clear reason emerges: the child often resorts to this behavior because they
don't yet understand the concept of ownership. They haven't learned the
boundaries of what belongs to them and what doesn't.
This is where the role of the family becomes absolutely critical in a child's early
years. Parents and caregivers must draw clear lines for the child to help them
distinguish between right and wrong. They need to be reminded, consistently,
that stealing is a violation of other people's rights and must be avoided.
Through this guidance, a child begins to understand the limits and recognize
what is theirs and what is not.
Maturity and The Ability to Understand
However, many
psychologists emphasize that the issue can be more complex. A child may struggle
to stop this behavior, especially around the age of four or five. In many
cases, it’s directly related to the child's maturity. For instance, by the time a child reaches six
years old, they typically begin to grasp that taking things is wrong.
Even so, the family
must remain vigilant and supportive. A child might fail to fully comprehend
ownership boundaries and continue to believe that everything in the house, for
example, is their property to be taken without asking. While it may not feel
malicious, this is still a form of stealing.
How to Address The Behavior: Solutions That Work
Given how serious
this behavior is relative to a child's age, psychologists have developed many
solutions to help correct it. They also strongly advise against certain reactions,
such as:
·
Physical
punishment or hitting 🤚
·
Harshly
scolding them
·
Shaming
or embarrassing them in front of their siblings or friends 😟
These
methods are generally ineffective and often do more harm than good, potentially
damaging the child's self-esteem without fixing the root problem.
Instead, experts
suggest more flexible and beneficial solutions that teach a valuable lesson:
·
Explain Ownership: Remind your child that just because they find
something on the ground doesn't mean it now belongs to them. It has an owner
who is likely looking for it.
·
Ask Questions Gently: Inquire calmly, "Where did you get
this?" This opens a conversation rather than starting an accusation.
·
Build Empathy: Help them understand the other person's feelings.
You can say, "This toy belongs to another child, and he must be very sad
that it's gone." 😢
·
Take Corrective Action: Perhaps the most effective method is to correct
the mistake together. Take your child with you to return the item to where they
found it or to give it back to its original owner. This active participation
makes the lesson real and empowers them to do the right thing.
